New Year’s Day feels like you’re an actor, waiting for the show to start. You’ve learned your lines, you know what you have to do… you’re excited! But for now, you just have to wait.
So do you stay there, thinking about what’s to come, getting increasingly impatient or anxious, eroding the confidence you had so that when the time comes, you refuse to take the stage?
Or do you decide that now’s as good a time as any and go give the performance of a lifetime? Because that’s also bad! You rush out there, show the world what you can do, and in 5 minutes everyone’s impressed, but they were expecting the full 3 hour performance and you’re un-take-back-ably done.
For me, 2020 feels like New Year’s Day. There are so many lovely things waiting for me, and so many things I’m happy to be involved in making happen. There’s so much to look forward to, but, at least for now, I have to keep waiting.
I’ll pick a few small things to keep me focused and fulfilled – practicing Japanese, learning new recipes – but always in my mind are the things I’m building up to… Moving into my new, more spacious home. Setting up an art and music studio. Making music and clothes and videos. Growing herbs and setting down roots for the first time.
I can’t hurry these things, and I won’t waste time and sorrow pining for them, wishing this moment will pass faster in favour of those.
Most of all, I can endeavour to never lose sight of the full picture – It’s not about these individual moments and achievements – It’s about my being happier and happier, feeling more and more confident and safe and capable, doing more and giving less credence to doubts. All of this, those moments and these and the ones I can’t see, far in the future, are the reason I do all of it, because they are all a part of my gradually becoming the person I’m supposed to be – the person I am underneath the obligations, anxieties, pressures and other frou-frou.
Life is like New Year’s Day. So just do only what you can, look forward to what’s to come, pace yourself and enjoy it.
Excellent clear sighted advice for 2020! :-))))
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